The Label Maker Incident
He mocked the label maker. Then everything he owns got labeled.
- Severity
- Annoying
- Date
- July 12, 2026
- Community reaction
- Appropriate Response
Submitted by a reader. Entered as received.
The Incident — My brother watched me unbox a label maker I had bought with my own money and asked, in front of our mother, what kind of person needs one. He returned to the subject twice that evening, unprompted. The second time he did a voice.
The Response — In March he gave me his keys so I could water his one plant. Over that weekend, every object in his apartment received the name it already had. LAMP. OTHER LAMP. BOWL (DECORATIVE). The plant I had come to water says PLANT. The work was neutral and factual throughout; I consider it inventory, not commentary. He was still finding labels in May. There is one on the underside of his soap dish that he knows about and has chosen to leave. The final object labeled was the label maker itself, which I left on his counter, marked LABEL MAKER, as a gift.
The Escalation — Six months passed without either of us raising the matter. Then an envelope: one replacement label, printed to size, reading LABEL MAKER, with a note explaining that the original can wear with use, and that replacements are available at no charge, indefinitely.
Current Friendship Status — Stable. He uses it. The plant also survived.