He Brought a Guitar

Submitted by a reader, guitar policy attached. We read every clause.

The Incident — A friend arrived at a housewarming carrying a guitar nobody had discussed. Music was already playing. He set the case in the corner "for later" and glanced at it through the evening the way other people check the time. At 9:35 he reached for the clasps.

The Response — Within the week, everyone in attendance received a document titled GUITAR POLICY, Version 1.0. It defines "gathering." It defines "guitar" broadly enough to cover the ukulele he is also known to own. It establishes a request procedure: written notice 72 hours before the event, a proposed set list not to exceed three songs, and the signature of one unrelated attendee affirming that the songs are wanted.

The Escalation — The policy was circulated for comment, as policies are. All comments were supportive; several were severe. One guest proposed a total instrument ban and had to be moderated in the minutes. Version 1.1 was ratified at a barbecue by a show of hands conducted in his presence. He voted in favor. He called it "fair, honestly."

Current Friendship Status — Enforced. One request has since been filed, approved, and performed within the three-song limit. He played well. The policy remains in force.